“I should feel guilty”

Now I know why I used to say that, and what it hid.


April 29, 2015 at 5:16 pm Leave a comment

Microsoft AI Fixit Center

This is Microsoft’s nice, cool, Artificial Intelligence DYI help center.  It comes recommended.  I’m also not going to check it out because…the one thing I want a solution for is on another computer and I don’t want to mess with Windows Update on this, thankee very much…

August 28, 2015 at 10:02 pm Leave a comment

Windows 10, the ANNOYANCE OF FINDING THINGS, and GODMODE, heh, heh, heh…

This was picked up from MajorGeeks dot com.  May explain my internet moniker, oregonnerd, which has been around since…1992.  Turned out to have been a bad idea, but wth.  MajorGeeks & co turned up in the mid-90s on my radar.

Paste this on your desk after choosing the “New Folder” option (NAME it this) ‘GodMode.{ED7BA470-8E54-465E-825C-99712043E01C}’ without the quotes.

You’ll even find the touch settings.  The gesture settings.  All the stuff we couldn’t find thanks to the ever-improving Microsoft, whom we have of course grown to love (? I’m a friggin’ masochist, am I?).

Since I tried this out, on this machine, and have easily found settings that were very hard to find (look up, on the MS site (community) the problem with the Dell XPS2720 and its touch screen–and realize it took ME to find it [I probably used elisedarnit@ something or other] out of hundreds of users and a few MS experts.  It took me (once I got angry) a full day to find the setting.  It’s a convoluted mess to get to…pardon me, it WAS.


August 26, 2015 at 1:05 pm Leave a comment

How Do I Change My Windows 10 Screensaver?

The idiots at Microsoft hid it behind the control panel.  Minimize or close the control panel and you can see it.  I wrote this because I had to discover it three times; this means that I’ll remember it.  God.

August 25, 2015 at 2:15 pm Leave a comment


Right now I am finally following back the river of time where I was progressively bound, evidently with my eager submission or else deluded fantasies of being powerless.  Part of it I was.  Part of it was quite assuredly was that submission, although with illusions of coming freedom.  Surely my mother’s marriage…living with her sister…believing whole-heartedly in a cruel God…  But then if I had resisted, how much good would it have done?  Whenever I did, I was punished.  I was punished for doing too well.

I walk, I say, the rivers of time, and backwards, for a while.  I was never going to be a good man.  I was always going to hide.  It seems my thought of both was in error.

August 23, 2015 at 5:44 pm Leave a comment

On Truth

Before I could enter first grade at the age I did, I had to be tested.  Thoroughly.  Twice, once by a psychologist and once to ensure I could understand the teaching materials.  Remember, this is Oregon and that was the 1950s.

I already knew everything in first grade except math.  I had problems with dyslexia for the first three years of school, although I only mentioned it once.  [b:d, B:D, e, f and s are the ones I recall]  Math tied me in knots until I [the word does not exist, however it is something I learned to do then and now constantly do; it is very similar to using an abacus to do math; also some relationship to ‘haiku’ [:actually, words/ideas contracted as much as possible+1] and origami (as well as using fractals software).

By 3 years later, I had learned to lie about what I knew.  I had to claim to know less.  That was just after my adoption.

Two years later, I tested above high school graduate.

Two years later, I tested as being able to challenge any course in Bachelor-level college except math.  My parents wouldn’t allow it.  At fifteen I was offered a scholarship all the way through Dordt college.  My adopted parents wouldn’t allow it.

I needed one credit and one class to graduate when I entered my senior year of high school, and by the time I graduated from high school I had begun to live in rage.  I had been promised to graduate from bootcamp E3 rather than E2 with a guaranteed A school.  I would be able to become an officer (I turned that down, incidentally).

And in 1972 I was forced to become a ‘traffic checker’.  I was too young.  I wasn’t an E5 (I was a fucking E3).  I was on my first enlistment.  The DNC-5 said that all messages would be spelled correctly with correct punctuation and grammar.  I enforced that.  Someone pointed out to me I’d lose my privileged job if I kept on doing that with George Steele’s messages (look up Admiral, Commander Seventh Fleet, say, 1973).  They would start checking me for drugs, for instance, instead of warning me about tests.  I became more of a stickler.  They gave me a higher security clearance and for about three years I knew…EVERYTHING about the Vietnam war.  There was a minor addendum to that, no one else except the admiral did, which meant if I whispered one thing–if I screwed up once–if I ever lost control…why then, you see, they would know it was me.  Out of thousands of military personnel.  I had spies in foreign ports try to befriend me–I had our own spies test me.  I was warned I’d be followed and then I was.

And in 2012 they finally more or less admitted it.  “We don’t know precisely what Mr. [Charles] knew.”

By the way, Snowden is and was an idiot.

August 23, 2015 at 1:43 pm Leave a comment

A Link Reference From a Bing Search Result

DO NOT FOLLOW THIS LINK.  This is the top link for “update microsoft silverlight” on BING: http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=A86.J7782NhVrXcAOz4nnIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTB2NjJ0cGtlBGNvbG8DZ3ExBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDBHNlYwNvdi10b3A-/RV=2/RE=1440303485/RO=10/RU=http%3a%2f%2f3060131.r.msn.com%2f%3fld%3dd3YwwMmLm9a5loe999ExTN-TVUCUzS3OvEtxgfCJddTmK_SfyTq3H6K6PZUNofzSJk8VJQUgtCtU1rduX3InmhJLz6u_0kkA1wBzulWiry4-EPw5tdmZYgTYcVKQQugaR_EhsA70m4UfXr7G8hZFcfGpoODVZw7BXNSXbzrip4Ln6vFAFK%26u%3dmicrosoft-silverlight.download-assist.com%252f/RK=0/RS=qTvreU24LQSr61xlXdCxDJJ43pM-?p=microsoft+silverlight+update


it appears to be Silverlight.Download-Assist.com [**HTML does not allow dashes, by the way.]

I entered it to mark it bad and got a drive-by, apparently.  I suspect this removed Internet Explorer (I noticed immediately but “accidentally”); I was running in Firefox anonymous mode.  I managed to mark it bad.  I apparently have a root kit.



If this convinces even one person to not accept top results from a search engine and to do some research before entering sites on the Internet, it was worthwhile.  I can do that for various reasons, starting with experience.

Because of said experience, can you guess what I’m going to do? This will be tweeted; tweet @oregonnerd if you cannot guess my next move with my poor little Acer.

If you carefully examine the link above you will find the title that I quoted you hidden.  This is a beautiful example of; SEO (Search Engine Optimization, what a misnomer), misdirection (and a version of the shell game no less)–and the insertion of a drive by virus with the **added attraction** of a stolen domain.  The moment I saw Internet Explorer missing I knew I had been hacked to some extent.  If I don’t find a virus easily I’ll reinstall–not refresh–Windows.  Well, come to think of it I do have ghosts.  This may be simple except that…it was really hard to update to 8.1 and it still hasn’t made it to 10.

August 22, 2015 at 3:31 pm Leave a comment

I’ve been very sick

as in memento mori sort of thing.  My pain is subsiding to the merely unbearable and I’m beginning to write “offline” [back to the short story become novel] again as well as feeling a poem or thirty coming.

About poetry.  That doesn’t mean that I haven’t actually written any number of poems recently.  I have a photographic memory with that complete exception.  The exception even goes so far as to without doubt recognize my own handwriting and being unable to remember ever having written a poem, although generally I think I do remember it.

The problem is that for me a poem is an event of consciousness which is then recorded in a sort of shorthand.  The short hand is not the event itself, or even a record of the event, but rather of the realization involved; it is a statement rather than a record.  It is a note, not a recapitulation or a portrait.  The attempt to preserve beauty is in respects incidental.

This means that in respects calling my poetry free verse or even for that matter poetry could be also called error.  However, no current language offers any equivalent mechanism for performing that function.  It’s also true that as far as I can tell it has rarely served said intended function–but then occasionally it has.  One cannot enlighten another, because one cannot look through another’s eyes and then present the vision to her or him.  The looking must be theirs, both effort and reward.

August 22, 2015 at 2:27 am Leave a comment

Older Posts


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 52 other followers