This is maybe more like an ‘actual post in a blog’

March 28, 2014 at 11:33 pm Leave a comment

As in it’s perhaps more of a pastiche of actual life than I’ve dared at least recently.  The comfort is knowing that few if any read any of this.  There’s another thing that started exactly when I found out that ‘they’ were taking pictures of my diary kept in a bound journal accounting book.  I found that out because someone told me, verifying something I had pretty well proved before.  I had left pieces of paper seemingly accidentally placed, and they constantly kept changing position.  I’ll have to admit that was suggested by various spy novels, not least Tinker, Tailor, Soldier Spy and a couple of others of le Carre’s.  I mean, it was that time, after all.  Some of the world he wrote about I lived in for a while.  My position should be fairly obvious, not least by my language and my ultimate refusal to reveal all; I’m more like a dance girl of the 30s I suppose.  And quite a bit more sane than Snowden.  Mind you, I was warned with death when I got out, with no mincing of words, should I cross the line.


I said a couple of things in comments on Yahoo! and notes to writers and lo and behold suddenly things like packages with holes slit in them and letters that had obviously been opened and reglued were happening.  Now, this isn’t to find something.  This is to send a nice, simple message.  I got my compensation because of what I knew and what it did to me, especially the silence.  At some point, the granite wall broke.  Evidently some one reporter’s keen real interest spiked theirs in turn; I haven’t replied since telling him we’d best not talk any more, and oddly enough none of my packages have been opened since and my envelopes are once again professionally sealed.  (They are quite capable of doing this without any trace, mind you.  ‘They’ would be…that would be going too far.)


God.  “I’m mad, I know I’m mad, I’ve always been mad…”  After all, it’s what I get compensation for.  I just realized that if I broadcast the contents of my reasons for compensation I should arrange to get a lot of money for it so I can GTFO.  Just so I’m not a nuisance, you understand.  Which would be inconvenient; I get my drugs from them.  No, not that kind of drugs.  I have epilepsy.  And we thus have a nice, caring relationship.  That answers the nagging questions some have had about why I haven’t gone further.  Mind you, I could make enough money that it wouldn’t matter because I could pay for them myself.  It might be worth it after all to pay for drug insurance.  It’s just that free is hard to beat and I also get hearing aids from them.  Prosthetics, which will be increasingly important.  Yeah, supports that are that drastic.  I just don’t usually wear them.  Eyeglasses.  Dentistry.  And so on; no pain pills since I smoke pot.  For now.  It’s time to write Obama again, which has worked before.  [The explanation for the ‘sudden’ decision to grant me compensation I must add was accompanied by constant statements that the Navy knew all along I had had the job I’d said, seen the kind of traffic I did and did the sorts of things with it…and that they “couldn’t comment” on any contents of it.  Mind you, without a doubt the people involved didn’t have the clearance anyway.  And they never commented on my mention of being watched except once, and that was in a transcript of someone’s notes.  That person was apparently removed from the case; they were quite careful to protect anonymity not least I’m sure because I without doubt suffer from PTSD and epilepsy and the combination of the two is sometimes unthinkable.  Yes, the movies are right about the very rare cases.]  Generally they make exceptions for the dying, and I had my first stroke I’m sure.  Here I am writing quite easily in ‘High English’–I was pretty well unable to do so through lack of practice; I stumble trying to speak in Low English or Muddle English.  I mean Middle.


I’m doing the stock market partially as entertainment.  [Another result of the stroke is that I have my typing speed back.  Odd.  Haven’t cared about it since quitting work, involuntarily.]  Also because I suddenly realized that an acquaintance of mine was correct about one thing; that if I am that high above the average and my specialty is in perceiving patterns then I should be able to make a ‘killing’ off the stock market.


I have an office set up.  Four computers, right now, since there’s room enough for my laptop to share space on one desktop with an all-in-one.  Okay, I’ll keep the new Dell.  Lack of backup and all.  That means I use it as a throwaway with desktop saves only to thumb drives.  Mainly it will be used as semi-fast display/dictionary so then this primary (Alienware) and Acer AIO secondary.  Dell AIO to be replaced with profits.


Partition up and 25 to Ump do 10 % speculation as defined Intelligent Investor.  Remember FDIC rules.


Set daily schedule and do Lost Books, Intelligent Investor, Wall Street EVERY DAY.



Aincha fascinated.

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Never Meaning

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