My [2012] Suburban

May 25, 2015 at 5:34 pm Leave a comment

I said earlier in an answer on Quora that I wouldn’t buy it new again.  On reflection that’s probably a lie.  It’s beautiful.  It’s very dangerous, because of its height and power, which are laughable compared to real 4wheelers and such; it’s dainty compared to my first Suburban or at least seems so.  It has a relatively tiny V8 although it puts out a relatively respectable amount of horsepower.  It’s an absolute pain in the ass to park, especially since I had the leveling kit put in (that’s the one where you actually sit level instead of the front end being lowered for some odd reason; now that you’ve read this look closely at vans, SUVs, pick-ups and so forth).  A Suburban is very, very long, although it turns okay.  However, turn radiuus is turn radius and you ain’t gonna get away from that one.

It has; super dark tinting because of the disease I have; wheel well flaps; protected glass (so that it handles rain more effectively, by far); a rear entertainment center (including that pop-down, yes, friggin’ movie screen…I needed that NOT), two full basically new sets of beautiful tires MOUNTED tire pressure sensors and all, bug deflector…and the interior looks like the Cadillacs of my childhood, upholstered in leather but arrayed in leading edge (for 2012) technology.  A cold air intake which adds a bit of horsepower and makes it attract cops I mean sound good.  I have a truck there that has other men eying it in envy, generally secretly although I’ve had scattered compliments.

Would I do it again?  The question should be reversed.  Could I resist buying it this time?  Fuck no.

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