August 23, 2015 at 5:44 pm Leave a comment

Right now I am finally following back the river of time where I was progressively bound, evidently with my eager submission or else deluded fantasies of being powerless.  Part of it I was.  Part of it was quite assuredly was that submission, although with illusions of coming freedom.  Surely my mother’s marriage…living with her sister…believing whole-heartedly in a cruel God…  But then if I had resisted, how much good would it have done?  Whenever I did, I was punished.  I was punished for doing too well.

I walk, I say, the rivers of time, and backwards, for a while.  I was never going to be a good man.  I was always going to hide.  It seems my thought of both was in error.

Entry filed under: Memento Mori. Tags: , , .

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