Posts filed under ‘Chronic Pain and alternatives’

Honesty and Autobiographies

I suspect I’ll start doing just that on (one of) my other sites on LiveJournal.  The honesty will and must be tempered a bit because of self-interest.  If, for instance, I knew the name of a person who took or almost took the thousand-mile swim to port I’m positive I wouldn’t repeat it and assuredly wouldn’t point to myself as cause, forty years separation + or not.

 

However, I made a deal with something or someone.  The way that worked out is that I’ve survived things that are supposed to be fatal.  Since the latest thing is the prescribed medication I’ve been taking for seizures (to prevent them, to make that clearer) should have killed me in four years.  I use an exact timeframe because that is what was used by the doctor who prescribed it and who told me to not look at the warnings, because I’d just get frightened or depressed.  “This is the first time I’ve done something like this, Glenn, but I don’t know what else to do.  This is too much of this medicine and it will damage your liver.  Never take acetaminophen (the anti-seizure medications are loaded with it) to hold it off a little.”

 

Four years would have been 2009.  I show the effects of the overdosing; internal bleeding is the main one.  I should have unusually weak bones and don’t; however, the medicine greatly intensifies the effects of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome both in theory and practice.  To translate that in other terms, too; I have a lot more pain because of them.  But then I wouldn’t feel at all theoretically if I didn’t take them, and I’d much rather die than have another seizure.  I have been to Hell, and I didn’t like it.  As far as the Hell in the Bible I’m agnostic; as far as what I experience during and post-seizure I know without doubt, and much more than I’ve told or been able to tell.

 

For now, yeah, the pain is getting worse…I also had 45 minutes without pain for the first time since I was 33 on February 29 (2016).  The return of it nearly killed me.  Oh, well.  Shit happens.

March 28, 2016 at 12:07 pm Leave a comment

Writing (The Agenbite of Inwit, perhaps?) Frenetically

That–the writing part, that is–is what I’ve been doing.  Not e-mail, which I increasingly regard with dubiety (since it’s impersonal almost without exception) nor cruising the net.  My cat is even feeling neglected.

One part of writing is that soldier (or whatever participant and in whatever War) who is lost within it–confused within that very common problem we orphans have of finding any sort of identity.  Note I didn’t say “combined” nor did I mean to do so.

I’m also working toward publishing poetry for the first time in forty years.  It’s daunting to start.

I’m also considering if I should try for college especially since given the statistics I shouldn’t hope for a whole lot longer.  However, the company would be nice and would distract me nicely me from the constant pain.

The painkillers will never increase in this country.  I bet I can’t leave this country unless I divorce my wife or she’s dead.  She has finally said differently, but it would be very hard for her.  Going to Canada would also mean leaving my cat in one way or another I’m rather sure.  Since she’s crushed if I go for too long a drive, it would mean putting her to sleep.  14 years is a long time for a pet, and I think she’s earned her place.

As far as the pain goes, well, it’s more than I can stand.  Now think about that, and my alternatives.

Wish me luck.

October 8, 2015 at 2:06 am Leave a comment