Posts filed under ‘defiitions’

self-portrait

self-portrait

Your desk is scattered with fragments
of half-finished poems and ‘novels-in-progress,’
the burnt-out
butts of smoky days, you cough
almost constantly it seems

you have half-a-hundred letters
to a former lover you haven’t seen
in a year or two (you don’t quite remember, honestly,
how long

it’s been: once you could count
the days): scattered books
clutter your soul, your rooms:
but, though you’re occasionally

tempted to self-pity: still
loneliness is far more bearable
than having to bear
company (or so you tell yourself).

Still: at times, in ways,
it would be nice: to tie some knots, finish a poem or
novel or two:
to clear this endless clutter.

_________________________________________________________________________

I wonder why I titled the folder for this (computer folder, inside a folder [etc.] used for organizational purposes)…self-betrayal.

October 23, 2017 at 2:58 pm Leave a comment

I’m more or less back…

I have a few programs back on this machine; I fought a virus for about six weeks.  I kept getting most of the programs back on and realizing that for sure the ghost in the machine was still there.  It turned out to apparently be a rootkit that was transmitted through USB media.  After I had MS repartition and reformat the hard drive it was gone on this machine.  On the 3020 Dell, I had to do it–in other words it had to be done with an OS that wasn’t hard-drive-based.   I’m still dealing with a version of Malwarebytes that doesn’t and will probably simply be abandoned due to lack of time.  I have Malwarebytes on an HP laptop that is doing admirably at combating the very same virus and I have another anti-virus suite that is not allowing it on the machine although it failed the very same test against the very same virus.  It’s possible I made a programmer angry, one who wouldn’t hesitate to hack and would be able to justify it in his own mind, just as he somehow managed to realize that the infant daughter he raped had actually been at fault somehow and had victimized him.  There are also my employers from a very long time ago who were very upset that I finally demanded payment.  In any case I’ve gotten it down to one machine that doesn’t currently have sufficient protection (not this) and then a machine most likely victimized by me.

 

I have been writing, but mostly on Twitter.  @oregonnerd is suprisingly enough my nom de la eh electric pen.  Tattoo pen? whatever.  [ref:  Alexander Graham Bell, as I recall.  Or just perhaps Ben Franklin.  One of those Good Old (Boy) Party (Members).

 

What initially prompted silence was the Advent of The Trumped Game.  And, of course, The Abominable Health Care Act.  I did not say Abdominal, thank you.  For some reason the current administration reminds me of a mix between The Three Stooges, Camp Concentration and Saturday Night Laugh-In…plus some really, really stoned high school kids.

July 24, 2017 at 6:20 pm Leave a comment

having learned silence,

how shall i learn to speak?

…for that matter; do i want to?

April 14, 2015 at 6:15 pm Leave a comment