Posts filed under ‘social psychology’

The Maori and Their Demise

The Maori are still around; that’s an exaggeration. However, they don’t occupy the position they once did, and that shows why.

It seems I met one, who was not anything like a killer and cannibal. The ethnic origins of a person mean nothing if there is no contact with the associated culture, and I am an example. I “should be” a pedophile. Instead, I hate them and had to disown my adopted family in order not to kill one of them. That indicates I was molested, incidentally; I don’t remember it. I come from a service culture that once basically encouraged sexual abuse of children, after all. No, I will not specify what I mean. Fortunately, it’s rapidly dying (and in some cases ‘dying’ is quite literal).

I knew a cannibal as a child, although it took me many years to understand that was what he was referring to. He was ashamed of it, no longer practiced it, and couldn’t manage to deny it.

Mind you, the greatest social sin is quite simply unvarnished honesty.


October 2, 2020 at 1:15 pm Leave a comment

Why It’s Hard to Overcome my Practiced Silence

My reticence about the Navy was enforced while I was still in it. I couldn’t even talk to others in my division (including the five enlisted who also had Crypto clearance–other than chiefs and above, and who also had only need-to-know access to classified information).

I’ve already been accused of supplying information to foreign governments. I got out of the Navy in 1975. That surfaced in this century and was in reference, mainly, to this blog. They did have a serious problem with formally charging me; they can’t even fabricate evidence that I’m receiving monies from such entities, or even that I’m communicating with them.

However, after all that time, they’ve finally acknowledged I was (knowingly) working for the NSA. I can’t be silent, but I’m unable to hurry. And there is so much distortion of twentieth century history at this point, someone correcting the PAO [Public Affairs Office, which prepares statements for the press and the like] hugely may have repercussions.

I’m dying. If they imprison me I’ll die more quickly. I’m also in greater pain each and every day, although I’ve refused to even discuss taking more oxycodone or some other, more powerful drug.

August 17, 2020 at 6:09 pm Leave a comment

Environmental Dissolution Due to An Invasive Species

The author of this article doesn’t seem to appreciate how quickly things will accelerate as far as melting ice (and snow) and their contribution to the sea level. Even the ocean’s major currents are shifting; air flow is far different from what it was in 1960. Without detailing it, I personally watched the changed and kept in touch with the records of what changed in terms of public availability. During my tour in the Navy I accidentally accessed a means of research. I was devastated by the fact that the assumptions (pardon me, “a prioris”, since “You know what assume means? IT MAKES AN ASS OUT OF YOU AND ME!”–a military aphorism, and an implicit admission that there is no knowledge of what an a priori is. That means that it admittedly occurs outside the realm of logic. And yes, that means there is a decided vulnerability that is both implicit and irremediable–and yes, as far as that goes, that could be the implication of a threat–but what could a dying cripple do to endanger the powers that be?) that I’d privately made were entirely correct.

The second thing to point out is that when the rain forests dessicate to the point that nearly simultaneous fires start, to the point that a noticeable portion of the given continent is aflame, the amount of ash released into the atmosphere is the second most serious consequence. The most serious consequence should be extremely obvious. However, I’ll delay that for a bit. That ash amount will be somewhere around the volume released by Krakatoa. That means a precipitous decline in temperature will immediately ensue.

Should this occur, it is extremely unlikely that it will occur on one continent (or portion thereof) alone.

I’ll add one hint, exhausted or not. There are a couple of fun notes about Hanford.

Oh, and if you’re getting nervous–I’m not talking to single people, but a rather large and unnamed group–there’s an easy way to shut me up. Contact me about paying me for forcing me to do an illegal job. If you don’t understand that, it doesn’t concern you. Most people have nothing to do with it, and couldn’t.

The Sargasso Sea used to be a horizon-to-horizon expanse of seaweed. Now, it’s plastic.

The matter on top of that Sea–which is caused by currents establishing a portion of sea somewhat akin to the “eye” of a circular wind form–slowly “precipitates” to the bottom of the ocean. It is then absorbed by plants, which are eaten, and a progression up the “food chain” begins. Any part of that particular food chain will then have some portion of their bodies made of…plastic. That was the object of observation in the latter portion of the 20th century.

What does this mean in terms of genetic changes in both plants and animals, short and long term?

Then of course we should cast a momentary glance at the nanoparticles that were so popular for, oh, forty years or so? They were used for flavoring in toothpaste, among other things. Those old enough will even remember the advertisement of “nanoparticles” as a particularly good thing, although why it was supposed to be good was never quite addressed, other than that it was due to “recent scientific advancements”. Now the bottoms of our streams and rivers are covered with these tiny particles and no one has the slightest idea of how to remove them. Hint: look up nano if this confused you at all. Look it up on the net.

There’s another particularly oblivious way that the U.S. government employed on nuclear waste disposal, but to be honest I’m tired. I actually apparently have evidence–probably not recoverable–that I was being poisoned for a couple of years, which was why some portions of myself deteriorated. It would help explain why some of these conditions have disappeared and the others are waning still. [A hospital made many notes that there was suspected poisoning and I consistently thought they meant I was poisoning myself with illegal drugs; however, long after that I realized that they never once asked me about drug usage. I’m sure it’s an incidental note that I’m going through a divorce initiated by my spouse.

Anyway, the most obvious thing is this. A huge fire involves massive usage of oxygen. The Sargasso Sea being covered with plastic means that the biggest former single producer of oxygen is steadily losing ability to do that (the ocean). The rain forests were major producers of oxygen.

By the way, the biggest single contributor to atmospheric pollution of which I know is the usage of jets. They burn approximately 45% of their fuel. The other 55-60%–I’m being optimistic, now, on the figures–is used as coolant so that the ceramic linings of the jet engines themselves don’t disappear. Even when not burnt, mind you, it serves as propellant. The point is that contrails have nothing to do with atmospheric condensation, they’re raw fuel.

August 16, 2020 at 7:42 pm Leave a comment

To Sue (Gillespie)

To Sue (nee) Gillespie

I never guessed, and I’m sure you don’t know that. When you came angrily chasing me long after (it was long after for me, because for years each day without you dessicated my soul a little more, and I was freshly home from the war where veterans were mainly scorned, and because you were so perfect, starting with your intelligence and wit) you’d told me to leave, I couldn’t imagine what you could want. You’d said you hated me at the point of our last words, as I recall it.

I’d buried away the memory of that one afternoon where I made love to you (yes, it was that) and almost instantly your parents drove home, as the others alerted us. I’d convinced myself I was sterile.

Is it surprising that it took me forty five years to suddenly realize what your anger was about? I had no idea you were pregnant. I’d have married you in an instant, not that I was much of a prize. I suspect I would have been, because I would have been able to escape the nightmare circlings of the past and things I’d done.

And the absolute worst part of all of this? you never guessed I didn’t realize and I’m sure you’ll never know. That was Whidbey Island, when I wore my adopted last name of Smith and I was freshly out of the Vietnam war; our first meeting was at the community college where you volunteered to work on the paper with me and…you were so perfect and young that I could only flee. Well, no, that’s not the worst, come to think of it. You could never accept that I actually did love you. Not your face that launched a thousand ships, or any of your other countless beautiful aspects; I loved you.

And because I didn’t realize, you had the child aborted. But then you never knew this, either; my mother tried frantically to have me aborted. And each fetus thereafter was caught in a timely fashion, so that there was no problem. Somewhere between six and twelve from what I could figure. “You remember all those trips to Las Vegas I told you about, so Jay could gamble? Actually, I was just getting another abortion.”

Yes, I’d have married you.

August 14, 2020 at 12:40 am Leave a comment

About Lying

“A lie is signalled by the liar looking away, generally down and to the left.” Not necessarily.

If you have lied successfully and feel the urge to confess I have one word of advice; Don’t. You’re not doing it for the sake of anyone else, you’re doing it for yourself and it almost always has bad consequences. The best lies are mostly true, but slanted by means of comments and implications.

Language doesn’t allow telling the truth. The actual truth lies in the experience itself and not at all with the unavoidable distortions that language (its definitions and complete lack of ability to express personal experiences are what cause this; language is devised for communication and thus only for group experience; unique interpretations are beyond its ability to support, which is why original thinkers–I’m not claiming to be one–experience unending failure to communicate). Remember and absorb that.

And then remember that what your groups actually know about you is very little.

Also, at least the largest part of the so-called unconscious mind is simply that part which doesn’t employ language. If you’re dubious that we don’t think in language, consult any neurologist.

April 16, 2020 at 2:39 pm Leave a comment

About The Stimulus Check

The Portal only works if you had a refund or owed money on income tax. Also, it’s giving some Social Security direct deposit accounts a message that…they don’t have enough information to send it. YOU CANNOT COMMUNICATE WITH IRS ATT*.

Also, of course, payments are being delayed so Trump’s signature can be on checks. How…how…admirable of him. Another ‘new’ for the presidency. He may have done a lot more than any other president; unfortunately, that’s because almost all his moves were bad and none were entirely good.

*at this time

April 16, 2020 at 12:25 pm 1 comment

in gratitude for an absence

In gratitude for an absence
it seems
I have my words again
after a year’s near-silence;
i returned

to that land that lies
before the fences and lanes
that language builds
and it stunned me dumb.

now, I have both worlds again.
better, i no longer
hear your words.

silence, blessed silence
For the first time in many years I am showing newly-written poetry publicly.

April 13, 2020 at 3:25 am Leave a comment

In Reply

To the people for whom I used to work,

Okay, I got your message. Mind you, that means you’ve gotten mine after fifty years or so.

I’ll be perfectly happy to work with you, for you, or as a consultant. I still have some things of interest to say. Your methods of hiding information don’t work for someone like me, but then there are very few of us. Well, from what was told me and why you inducted me, I may be a bit more rare, but that’s inconsequential.

I could use more data. I haven’t told anything modern to foreign nationals, and what I have told is via social networks. As long as it was never officially verified I worked for you, I could say nearly anything I wanted. There was also of course the deadman switch consideration, since I could easily have been regarded as a bit of dirt to be swept up and thrown out rather than conveniently and untidily hidden under the carpet. I no longer mention in electronic comms—accessible to view by anyone—anything to do with what might possibly be regarded as sensitive. By the way, should some of this seem ironic (“sarcastic”) don’t worry, I wouldn’t possibly wish to hurt your feelings…it is. Even though already owed, this isn’t for compensation.

My history will reveal that I can indeed understand things correctly from insufficient data. This is a one-time offer. Otherwise, read my memoirs. Or my laptop. With the office you set up here (coincidentally at the same time I moved here) you can have someone knock on my door and ask to talk to me. Imagine the opportunities!

-Especially since you’ve finally acknowledged my contributions but without any extra reward.

April 13, 2020 at 3:06 am Leave a comment

A Question

My ex-wife instituted divorce proceedings and yet today when I told her I’d see her tomorrow she burst out sobbing. Should I feel sympathy?

March 22, 2020 at 4:29 pm Leave a comment

A Long Absence

I was very sick for about a year; I used to weigh over 160 pounds and now I struggle to stay at 125; at the worst I weighed 107 pounds. A crumbling marriage took my appetite in the first place; in the second I carried around walking pneumonia for FIFTY YEARS. Yokosuka (my home port during the Vietnam war, since I was assigned to the admiral’s (ComSeventhFlt–7th Fleet is all Far East and he is in charge of all U.S. armed forces there–there was an epidemic of walking pneumonia with only antibiotic for officers. I found out to avoid the medics over this, because there was an associated mortality rate; they only gave expectorants to enlisted.

The antibiotic for that cleaned out the intestinal flora and fauna and I nearly died–at 107 I was put on a liquid diet, for 4 days. They had no choice about that.

Talking about the marriage and dissolution would be extraordinarily stupid. I am not divorced and any talk about an ongoing situation involving the law is somewhere between unwise and illegal. In many ways I don’t want to talk about it because it resurrects memories that are at best stressful and generally painful; I don’t live with her now, after 20 years.

During that year (and a few months) I wrote nearly no poetry. That’s the first time since I started writing poetry at 9. I’m writing again, even keeping a journal on a laptop meant especially for writing–and for time in hospitals. I doubt the pneumonia is cured, and I’m now terrified by hospitals. Part of the reason is what’s happened to me in hospitals, the other stems from being confined in a VA facility (American Lakes); I was overdosed and my leg was mis-set.

The usual timeline for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type VII (7), gives me less than 4 years to live. Since I feel more pain every day, I’m not frightened by the idea. I intend to write about a couple of things concerning coronavirus.

March 22, 2020 at 12:43 pm Leave a comment

Older Posts