For John Varley

For John Varley

Immersed once in silvery
reflections (how smooth
this metallic mask, this muse!)
in that cavern
(resting on quicksilver
on Mercury),
entranced, i was moved
(but we were trapped, and oxygen
was short) to touch your breast,
recreate that fearsome beast.
(I thought my desire

Did you sense my momentary
behind my suit’s silvery mask?–you offered,
and i rejected.
How odd to find later that both desire
and rejection
were directed at myself!
This is based on one of his short stories, and genetic doppelgangers, spare bodies meant to be kept mindless, and…I won’t give you any more of it. He was fascinated by the whole thing for quite a while.

December 25, 2018 at 6:45 pm Leave a comment

meanings 3

meanings 3

you promise me
meanings. i cannot stand
the ones i know,
i have.
Yes, if you truly empathize with ‘me’–because of having been in the situation–you’ll scream

December 25, 2018 at 6:38 pm Leave a comment




Too many words. You’re leaving
and I don’t know why: your reasons
have no core. Or perhaps i

simply cannot understand. i
don’t even know that, as you
frantically pack your clothes. (I never saw
you do that without folding
before.) I know you never
understood me. Few people have,

none of them women. I am a poet.
I know too many words
(i have always known) too many

there is no meaning
to your leaving.
you have become, nearly
–or perhaps really: i suppose
we’ll find out–
a part of me. o, what

shall i say in the morning?
how sleep in this bed shaped slowly
to your body’s curve: how sleep,

without your warmth? but
i say nothing, and
you merely leave.

December 24, 2018 at 4:59 pm Leave a comment

scarred recollections

scarred recollections

i glance youward but

it is only
my version of you
yet again

you are once again long-gone

oh my mother, tho
i hardly knew you
i remember;

i do not mourn
but i remember


As of this I will begin submitting again after 40 years–unless someone wants to tell me why I shouldn’t.  I have a bad habit of throwing manuscripts away.  Mind you, encouragement wouldn’t be unwelcome, but this is the internet.



December 24, 2018 at 4:41 pm Leave a comment


 various anagrams


a rusted plow
half-buried in sand;


i saw you
paused in your flight
before your fall,


i have not yet forgotten
her touch, subtle
as desire.


clasp slipped, hand cold:
the touch of truth.


flight encircled, ended,
at return–
That word
cannot be said.

December 24, 2018 at 4:23 pm Leave a comment

On Meeting You

On Meeting You

these shards remain

of our prolonged meeting

distorted echoes and

reflections, and

each time i touch a

shard, a shattered

memory, you cannot guess (at all)

how bitterly i bleed


Not real life, at least this has nothing to do with a specific person. I suppose someone who always knows the glass is half full (rather than half empty)–the optimist–could embrace losing relationships as well. Actually I know some do, and the common reasoning was that it was an opportunity for growth.

Were it current, I probably wouldn’t be able to post this.

December 23, 2018 at 2:48 pm Leave a comment

Old Note

0811 2018

It’s difficult for me to understand a lot of things having to do with humans, their values (and especially matters of faith, how they are named and how they are celebrated–both good and evil, yes).

The knowledge we’ve been taught is in fact a reflection of a societal interpretation of “reality”, which is actually far from what is actually experienced.  We forget things, especially when in the midst of trauma. There is also the modern world. From what I can see, over half–probably three quarters–of the information on the internet varies from unreliable to deliberately attempting to win other people over for their purposes. Nearly everyone alive in the U.S. lives in the city modernly.  (As I recall less than 5%, from the 1990 census.) That means that the only environment for which they’re prepared is the city.  The more rural types don’t rely as much on place names as do the city-dwellers; paths are not cut through the land.  Prime evil is couched in the terms of “threat to the state”, as I recall.

–another old note

December 23, 2018 at 11:50 am Leave a comment

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