Posts tagged ‘chronic pain’

How to Keep a Neat Desktop Program List (All Windows Versions)

Some easy tricks with Windows that only started with the neat Program List.

Continue Reading October 31, 2015 at 1:28 am Leave a comment

Writing (The Agenbite of Inwit, perhaps?) Frenetically

That–the writing part, that is–is what I’ve been doing.  Not e-mail, which I increasingly regard with dubiety (since it’s impersonal almost without exception) nor cruising the net.  My cat is even feeling neglected.

One part of writing is that soldier (or whatever participant and in whatever War) who is lost within it–confused within that very common problem we orphans have of finding any sort of identity.  Note I didn’t say “combined” nor did I mean to do so.

I’m also working toward publishing poetry for the first time in forty years.  It’s daunting to start.

I’m also considering if I should try for college especially since given the statistics I shouldn’t hope for a whole lot longer.  However, the company would be nice and would distract me nicely me from the constant pain.

The painkillers will never increase in this country.  I bet I can’t leave this country unless I divorce my wife or she’s dead.  She has finally said differently, but it would be very hard for her.  Going to Canada would also mean leaving my cat in one way or another I’m rather sure.  Since she’s crushed if I go for too long a drive, it would mean putting her to sleep.  14 years is a long time for a pet, and I think she’s earned her place.

As far as the pain goes, well, it’s more than I can stand.  Now think about that, and my alternatives.

Wish me luck.

October 8, 2015 at 2:06 am Leave a comment

I’ve been very sick

as in memento mori sort of thing.  My pain is subsiding to the merely unbearable and I’m beginning to write “offline” [back to the short story become novel] again as well as feeling a poem or thirty coming.

About poetry.  That doesn’t mean that I haven’t actually written any number of poems recently.  I have a photographic memory with that complete exception.  The exception even goes so far as to without doubt recognize my own handwriting and being unable to remember ever having written a poem, although generally I think I do remember it.

The problem is that for me a poem is an event of consciousness which is then recorded in a sort of shorthand.  The short hand is not the event itself, or even a record of the event, but rather of the realization involved; it is a statement rather than a record.  It is a note, not a recapitulation or a portrait.  The attempt to preserve beauty is in respects incidental.

This means that in respects calling my poetry free verse or even for that matter poetry could be also called error.  However, no current language offers any equivalent mechanism for performing that function.  It’s also true that as far as I can tell it has rarely served said intended function–but then occasionally it has.  One cannot enlighten another, because one cannot look through another’s eyes and then present the vision to her or him.  The looking must be theirs, both effort and reward.

August 22, 2015 at 2:27 am Leave a comment


There is only one thing to do; keep on going.

If you are a child, teenager or young adult I am working on an exercise program that will help avoid some of the worst problems ahead.

If you are diagnosed with it wear boots or ankle supports; preferably boots.  Do some sort of exercise to strengthen your wrists which is hard enough to be painful; you’ll need to do the same thing for your ankles and major joints.  Avoid placing transverse pressures on your back or carrying overly heavy loads.  If you run you MUST RUN ON YOUR TOES not your heels or you will instantly begin heavily damaging the cartilage between the vertebrae in your back.

One other thing–no, two.  Good luck.  And guess how I feel today.

May 18, 2015 at 11:21 pm Leave a comment

a short note

I’ll be working for a bit, bad back and all (chronic pain and all). is a legitimate business…and guess what:  I’m back there.  I do have news piling up and no energy to manage, although I may do better next week, with back to five hour days rather than 8, and maximizing at 3 days.


October 31, 2008 at 7:00 pm Leave a comment

Down for a while…

Pain at times does its thing.  Fortunately, I can still fight it.


August 4, 2008 at 2:01 pm Leave a comment

My apologies to my few readers,

but pain is simply taking its toll.  A lady who can hardly speak English (married to a man, same) had put her carseat into the garbage.  Rose, my wife, was going to carry it a block to the dumpster.  Notionally (it was about 60 pounds, about my one-hand weight limit for carrying right now for relatively short distances).  I carried it, and am suffering considerable consequences.


However, there should be a remark just following this entry…


When you can’t make the next step, and know you can’t–just make it.

July 15, 2008 at 11:01 am Leave a comment

More on Chronic Pain…

One of the problems I find is that in concentrating heavily on things like news items–my lower back is basically broken, although the spinal cord is intact–is that I can ignore the pain for long periods of time.  I shouldn’t sit too long.  I can’t stand stationary too long (I’m unsure of the mechanics of that one). 


Yesterday, I spent about 8 hours in front of the screens chasing down news items and blogging them in short pieces.  If you’re going to follow my route–don’t overdo it.  Try to keep tabs somewhat on the pain.  Paying for an accrued debt isn’t fun, whether it’s money or pain of some sort.


July 10, 2008 at 3:20 pm Leave a comment

this is it for today

I just managed to walk something like 4 miles.  We really can’t afford a taxi; the bus doesn’t go there any more (not enough traffic; there’s merely a hospital there plus most of the Rogue Valley’s medical clinics).  I applied for VA benefits for PTSD.  I’ve actually done well to write this much.  Odd how we hide our fragility from our selves.


June 6, 2008 at 4:45 pm Leave a comment


As you can see, I am to the point I can make regular postings.  I still haven’t (for instance) installed Firefox; I’m absolutely sure I won’t install anything further today, which means nothing at all.  I’m working toward something vaguely resembling a rewrite of a book begun ten years ago or so.  Actually my perspective has changed considerably.  The attempt at definition of reality is meaningless unless it includes the realization that reality’s a changing thing–language is a changing thing–as are other media–so it’s getting it just right while the boat rolls; flash it right with quick enough shutter speed and you got it.


I plan nothing else today.  I’ve had Vicodin again for a while.  It certainly doesn’t kill the pain, but it does lessen it, enough that I have to lay back on the exercise bit.  Enough.  Pain’s worse now because of the back.


June 1, 2008 at 7:42 pm 2 comments

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