Posts tagged ‘humor’

“One thing all liars have in common (brace yourself)…”

They fart a lot.


Sorry, but I think that every time I see the ad.  To make things worse [fair warning, you might not want to read this.]


There’s been a lot of scientific speculation about why humans and dogs got together.  The actual explanation is quite simple.  We hadn’t invented toilet paper yet

October 3, 2019 at 3:24 pm Leave a comment

An Entry

I realized I really should make an entry today, so here it is;


“Remember, Death is Nature’s way of telling you to slow down.”

March 12, 2017 at 6:12 pm Leave a comment

MacIntosh vs. Windows…I mean, Obama and McCaine

First of all, I think whoever wins the election it will be a disaster.  The one thing the U.S. populace has shown over the years is an entire inability to adapt.  This has a lot to do with manipulated news media (“Yellow Journalism”–the name stemming from the short lifetime of the paper first used for papers like The National Enquirer–with us now and ever, with ever more faces), sure.  We’re also all sure it must be someone’s fault, just as long as it’s not our own.

I don’t buy Obama being born in Nigeria, and I didn’t buy stock from the Nigerian claiming to be his grandfather either.  McCaine isn’t a complete idiot and he is a Vietnam vet–and he tests out sane, which is better than I do (veteran of only that war).  Biden seems credible.  As far as Palin goes, I still can’t quite believe that she isn’t just a fraud–a joke, although that’s punishable by a heavy fine and possible imprisonment.

Both will make most decisions on the advice of officeholders.  The infrastructure holds the information.  And anger the infrastructure and you lose a lot of the control.  Give it up.  I mean, really.  One thing you can assume is that the first one who went to mud-slinging had the least to offer on his own in positive terms.  Unfortunately, I’m afraid some buck-toothed inbred will be unable to take it if Mr. Obama does make it to the presidency.  I’m also afraid of McCaine’s age, health and potential successor, because I wouldn’t want her running the neighborhood bar–personal opinion, mind.  I’m sure she’s very good at things.  Some things.  I just wouldn’t guess what, both from inability and fear of being labeled a sexist.  I would much rather see Paris Hilton as president, and that has absolutely nothing to do with anything but intelligence.

But each will bash the other.  The Republicans are blaming the Democrats, who are apparently in power (in the Oval Office, no less–the power behind the throne? the puppet master? Svengali?) for the financial mess, which was being predicted by anyone above retarded because of the loosening of controls on loans to non-existence on Greenspan’s instructions.  The Democrats, oddly enough, are saying a Republican was in office.  Odd idea, that.

And no matter who wins the election, it will be their fault and it should have been fixed yesterday.  Where would we be without edited news?   But I believe.  It’s the other guys’ fault.


October 25, 2008 at 4:34 am Leave a comment

poetry, dedicated to politicians


parable (2)

in the country of the blind, i’ve been told, the one-

eyed man is king.

but to be sane in the madmen’s cities?–

it is suicide.



September 30, 2008 at 5:30 pm Leave a comment

eHarmony and Firestarter

Review your matches free???



August 13, 2008 at 8:15 pm Leave a comment

footnotes (3)

Have you ever noticed that when someone goes on television to tell us to tighten their belts you know for sure they don’t have to do it?

If the Brits are so great how come they have to have directions for dressing?

Before you make absolutely sure you have the most beautiful teapot in the world, it might be wise to ensure it doesn’t leak.  However, I doubt Microsoft or Apple can ever learn that.

I’m just as disturbed as John Brunner was by the constant misuse of the name Art.  Personally, I’ve just gone back to calling him Arthur.

Nothing can prove causation, either in a single instance or as an operative concept.  It looks fairly likely.  Levels of causation cube the uncertainty factor.  Predictivity based on the model is poor except in mechanical applications.

There is a necessary factor of uncertainty, or error, in any representation of anything.  This is due to the fact that the one doing the representing has to decide what’s important.  Generally she doesn’t bother to take notes on the unimportant stuff.  The one who (poorly) explained what’s important, having had that explained to him by the boss, who nearly listened while the boss of the guy who had the person decide to have someone else do the actual study to determine what’s important…having had the assignment of definition handed to him by someone who had the need explained by a server-side-oriented-consultant…will be the one who’s expected to handle the data for a project which probably never is explained until it’s already underway.  I don’t understand why most people say I have a dour outlook on life.  Maybe it’s because I use Outlook.

It’s been proven as far as it can be that being constipated gives you a shitty outlook on life.  So using Microsoft Office…?

Offhand=someone who’s right-handed trying to masturbate with his left.  Then again, I had someone trying to convince me it stood for military intelligence.

If there was a society that had an observable tendency to increase in population and the society generally tried to defend the tendency in a variety of forms of languages, that could be taken as an indication that there was a disaster a long time ago.  The disaster would probably have come fairly close to wiping out the society, and there would probably be a fairly high childhood mortality rate as it began recovering from it.  Among other things, that society (as it survived) would probably be fairly aggressive.  [In all gamed situations, the first to adopt aggressive tactics AND the best at their tactics wins.  I would assume there are other possible situations.]  Both the aggression and the need to increase population would be at a level where it would be difficult for the individual to manipulate their own feelings.  Basic feelings which form the underpinnings of a society are not easily manipulable by experiential language, and language which sacrifices accuracy for the sake of consistency becomes a statement of religious belief and practice.*

Language first of all presents a set of protocols for described situations.  Secondly, it presents a set of valorizational statements which defend the protocols.  Thirdly, it attempts to thus present a framework of positive and negative motivation, as well as statements as to the “good” of the ruling structure.  There is no possible statement of value which is not relativistically based.

*Restated, that’s something like this.  We’re horny little bastards, but it looks like it’s not instinct.  It’s memories in the forms of values we hardly know how to say.  Most likely, the human race just about got wiped out by a glacial age that came on suddenly, and then there was global warming that occurred suddenly and drastically (it looks right now) about 50,000 years ago.  There was a lot of disease and there was a lot of incest.  More than that, population expanded faster than arable land or easy prey did.  The catastrophe had wiped out the knowledge the human race had except for language and especially chants.

I have never attempted to make any statements about Cro-Magnon humans and their appearance, other than that all transitional skeletal elements thus far are either fakes or vast stretches.



July 22, 2008 at 9:10 pm Leave a comment

Wuala: more information

On a dual-core 64 bit 3 gig AMD processor (A8V-E deluxe motherboard) while running it uses about 3-4% CPU time.  No significant RAM footprint.  I have ‘lost’ internet connection during startup because it wants to connect.  What does? the virtual drive and the virtual microsoft board, of course.  I’ve taken it off startup (I’m on 7/1 DSL, so it’s fast) and since the Wuala program isn’t hogging everything trying to connect to the internet and Windows at the same time…the boot time has merely been reduced by about 90 seconds.  The response practically reminds me of dialup.  I’m getting close to the end of my testing on it. 


I would use it to connect to others like me… [oregonnerd–gmail]  I do have invitations.



(it’s just I wouldn’t wish this on anyone)

July 18, 2008 at 10:52 pm Leave a comment

Proper quoting (and therefore blogging) by the law:

Quote excerpts and link back to the articles.  Thus far, AP couldn’t do anything to me about what I’ve done–according to English and American law.  Maybe having a degree has actually served me in this; copyright infraction has always been viewed seriously (supposedly, anyway) by the scholastic community.


Another thing.  It is one thing to say that “President Fielding is insane” and entirely another to preface that statement with “In my opinion”.  If you make it clear it’s your opinion, then it does fall under the free speech protection.  If you don’t, there are a lot of other considerations.  If I said something about President Bush’s mental condition without making it clear it was merely opinion, I could very well be in a lot of trouble, since I have actually do have a degree albeit bachelor’s.


As far as the quotes go; over one paragraph, and you’re over the line for sure.  Over 48 words, assume you’ve quoted too much (48 words in a row, that is; it’s hard to plagiarize “the”).


Oops, that’s right.  I’m trying to copyright “the”.  So far no one has contacted me about the case.



July 5, 2008 at 1:45 pm Leave a comment

Spencer F Katt

Which tends sometimes to be fairly funny, especially to someone like me.  Briefly, it’s a (copyrighted) cartoon strip basically aimed at a professional IT audience.


Maybe someone should swallow a Babel fish and then they’d be able to speak to executives, managers, supervisors, actual users, programmers…and even themselves, when they’ve remembered to take their lithium.


June 27, 2008 at 3:47 pm Leave a comment

Perhaps I’m missing something.

Maybe our governments just need to do online storage for crucial information for their brains, and then maybe take it off, like some kind of hat.  After losing a few classified documents and weapons parts, that is.


To be quite a bit more serious, the online storage model actually dates from the very early days of computer intercommunication.  I can remember when 5 meg free was kind of a big deal (I don’t remember if it was before or after the common hard drives).  If you have a crash, even a hard disk crash–even a catastrophe such as a fire or flood–you have heavy chances of recovering most of your data.


And here’s step one.  On the serious side, after Symantec Support and that particular article, I will have to commend Norton 360, especially for the novice user and the one who won’t protect his or her data.  Online data tends to be much more invulnerable to things like viruses.  So it’s something to think about.


June 17, 2008 at 8:21 am Leave a comment

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